A
time-honored tradition for musicians of all ages- The Star Spangled Banner For Drummers
Why is there a chicken on the band web page? Because he has two drumsticks!!! Why did the chicken cross the road? There's nothing I
like better than the sound of the bagpipe, unless of course it's the sound of a chicken
caught in a vacuum cleaner. Fowl!! Okay, enough chicken
jokes! What is a cow's favorite
note? BEEF-flat! What instrument does a cow play? What kind of music does a cow like best?
Blue grass! Moo!! Enough cow jokes! I've HERD them all
BEEF-ore! What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin? How do you know when the stage is level? Did you hear about the guitarist who was in tune? What's the definition of a minor second? What's the difference between an oboe and an onion? What's the difference between a bassoon and a
trampoline? "Mommy! Mommy! When I grow up I want to be a
French horn player!"
"Now Johnny, you can't do both!" What's the definition of a nerd? What's the difference between a lawn mower and a
soprano sax? How many trumpet players does it take to change a
light bulb? What's the range of a flute? What's a tuba for? What do you call someone who hangs around with
musicians? What did the [insert name of instrument] player get
on his I.Q. test? How many drummers does it take to change a light
bulb? "Hey buddy, how late does the band play?" How can you tell when a drummer is at your door? How do you get an alto sax player to play softer? How does a lead guitarist change a light bulb ? How do you make a violin sound like a viola? What's the difference between a violist and a dog? How do you make a baritone horn sound beautiful? Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20
minutes? What’s the difference between a guitar and a
tuna fish?? One clarinet player was so bad, even her section
noticed. How many bass players does it take to change a light
bulb? How do you put a twinkle in a soprano's eye? How does a soprano change a light bulb? How many altos does it take to change a light bulb? If you drop a conductor and a watermelon off a tall
building, which will hit the ground first? Who cares? What's the definition of an optimist? Why do bands have bass players? What's a bassoon good for? How do you make a double bass sound in tune? What do you do with a brass player that can't play? What do you do if he can't do that? Two musicians are walking down the street, and one
says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?" Why is a bassoon better than an oboe? What is a burning oboe good for? What is the definition of a half step? How many clarinetists does it take to change a
lightbulb? What's the definition of "nerd?" What's the difference between a baritone saxophone
and a chain saw? How do trumpet players traditionally greet each
other? How can you tell which kid on a playground is the
child of a trombonist? What is the dynamic range of the tenor saxes? It is difficult to trust anyone whose instrument
changes shape as he plays it! How do you get your trumpet section to sound like
the horn section? How many French horn players does it take to change
a light bulb? How do horn players traditionally greet each other? How do you fix a broken tuba? Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20
minutes? What do you get when you cross a piccolo with a
clarinet? Don’t B SHARP,
Don’t B FLAT, Just B NATURAL!! Sign in band room:
"The director has Gone Chopin. Bach in a Minuet.” GROAN!!!!!!!! All fines will be used toward
purchase of equipment for jazz band, such as earplugs for the director! BASS PLAYER OFFENSES [ ] Playing loudly during warm-up $10 GUITAR PLAYER OFFENSES [ ] Checking hair between tunes $15 DRUM SET PLAYER OFFENSES [ ] Attempting to play maracas at same time $20 SAXOPHONE PLAYER OFFENSES [ ] Breaking a reed $20 TRUMPET PLAYER OFFENSES [ ] Emptying spit during solo $30 TROMBONE OFFENSES [ ] Emptying spit during solo $30 DIRECTOR OFFENSES [ ] Calling the jazz band a jazz
"ensemble" $50 ~~THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER FROM THE PERCUSSIONIST'S PERSPECTIVE~~ >Listen< Oh, say can you BOOM, CRASH |
